hope.

There is a community.  It consists of a few dirty streets, terraced housing and youth on every corner. Rising out of the small patches of grass and the broken cobbles is rows upon rows of people stacked high in council flats. People, real people, with desperate stories of life not turning out how they expected, living amongst the cracked paint and the closed doors tarnished with the brush of hopelessness. But there is hope. Look beyond these flats, look deeper, scratch the surface, meet the people and there you will see the beginnings of the kingdom. There you will begin to see not just the stories, not just the labels, but the individuals.

His skin was olive and in his hands he held a shiny beer can. Not unusual for 3pm on a Wednesday afternoon. His sunglasses covered any emotion that could have been playing in his eyes. His five year old son, with unruly black hair and a mischevious smile playing on his lips, raced through the area around the football cage. As I sat with him, I wondered how he had gotten the scar that spanned his face, but I was more interested in what he had to say. As he took a sip from his can he began to chat about his ex partner, his struggle with his son, how hard the last years had been but how he was just getting his life back on track. With genuine interest he reciprocated the friendly questioning and I began to share how I came to be in Gillingham. Such a blessing to enter into these peoples lives. As he greeted everyone by name that passed by and began to tell some of the youth that he used to drink in the pub with their dads I began to realise his roots here were deep and when life caved in, he came back to what he knew, Gillingham. This town. He began to tell me of how his ex-partner had been a 'bible basher Christian type' and when I mentioned that I also was 'one of those' he replied with respect.

As the conversation moved on to normal day to day musings, and I began to soak in the surroundings from the bench I was on, I was hit with the realisation that I was catching glimpses of Gods kingdom right where I was. One blink and I would have missed it, earthly eyes and I would have just seen community kids playing football and a man drinking beer on a bench. But there were people, meeting together, talking, sharing life and Jesus, being open to opportunities in the dismal surroundings. And joy began to surge in my heart. The kids, scruffily dressed, playing football but with positive words, a sense of community. And in my heart I knew that Jesus was there, this place was soaked in Him, and as the kids came over and chatted there was no doubt in my mind that there is HOPE, that these kids will know truth and be brought up in the knowledge they are worthwhile. In earthly terms, this stuff is a pittance. But in heavenly terms, seeing these things with fresh eyes, huge ground for the Kingdom was taking place. Walking past, it could have just been any old bunch of youth on any given day, but there was far more. God was there in our midst, oceans of HOPE flowing and glimpses of heaven on earth were everywhere. This is what my heaven will look like. What an honour.

There is always hope. Oceans of it. No one or nothing is EVER completely consumed. There is never anything, no matter how dismal or ugly, that is void of this little word. HOPE.
It's a tough one. Seeing hope where there, at first glimpse, seems to be nothing. defying everyone esle's thoughts and ideas, and REFUSING to let hopelessness consume people and places. I refuse to believe that people are past the point of it and that there is nothing more. There is always hope.
When everything, taken at face value, seems to scream despair just scratch the surface, go deeper, meet the people and you will come to believe that there is glimpses of hope, glimpses of the kingdom in places that people who don't have the eyes to see, simply miss.
 I desire to fix my eyes on the unseen. HOPE. The things that God is doing in these areas. The glimpses of the kingdom that, once your eyes are opened to it, appear. The conversations seasoned with words of truth, the stories of people that have had heartache and are broken, but the joy that rises in the heart when a community begins to move, when a community begins to see Jesus, starts to capture the vision. In this place there is no room for hopelessness. It has been replaced by hope.
Praise God.

yes please. amen.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not
so much seek to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever. Amen.

oh, Gillingham.

These last weeks have sped by. I am unsure how this has happened, or where they have gone, all I know is it's been 6 months since I left the home country and the adventure is still going on. I am STILL so blessed to be in Gillingham. I was running the streets today (yes, this occasionally does happen) and as I took in my surroundings, it hit me that I was really truly in Gillingham, the town I have longed for. Now, this may seem unusual due to the length of time I have already been here but sometimes it just happens and I get this overwhelming, and sometimes surreal, sense of joy and realisation that I am ACTUALLY here. Truly AMAZING. I am so blessed to be here, FREE, not tied down to anything, but just able to live life, listen to God and just BE in this town. And then there are times when I am privileged enough to capture glimpses of the bigger picture, the workings of Jesus in me and in those around me.

Oh, the joy is overwhelming. Each week is different, and this is what I love. It blows my mind that I can live with an amazing family, work with these kids in Gillingham, play football with them and be welcomed into their communities, then the next week I am mooching around Europe with the amigo, Amie. So many blessings. So much thankfulness. INCREDIBLE. 

The family I live with are amazing. Their love and acceptance of people and the sense of community they develop in their house is mind blowing. It's such an atmosphere of support and joy and the 4 year old, Sophie, never ceases to come out with hilarious statements. Today we had 'slinky' championships, she chopped off a clump of her own hair at the dinner table and on other occasions has picketed outside my bedroom door singing songs until I emerge. The youngest, Ellie, not only has hair that sticks up vertically on her head, but has just turned one and said her first word 'A-men.' SO CUTE. Our house is currently being over run by myriads of tea-drinking builders, whilst the loft is converted into a BEAUTIFUL room for yours truly to live in whilst in Gillingham. It truly is a dream. The walls are sloped and there are windows either side that look out across the whole of Gillingham. I am ever so excited to move in there. 

In other news, I feel for the moment that it's the best thing to volunteer for GYFC 3 days. As hard as this is, because I LOVE the kids and this means I am missing out on one evening drop-in, I feel it's what is needed for this season. This means I now have two days opened up to just BE in Gillingham, or pursue other things that feed my soul, or give back to this place. SO exciting. And so blessed to just be able to do this. 

One thing that never fails to feed my soul is a visit to the big smoke, London. The hustle and bustle, the people watching potential and the feeling that anything could happen. Friday midday I headed off with high expectations of the day that was stretched out before me and the hopes of meeting with old friends. As soon as I leave the train at Victoria Station, the sense of being so small in such a big city is upon me. I spent the afternoon lunching with friends, Mike and Jazz. Then headed off to tackle the beast that is London transport, in hopes of arriving at Putney. A friend of mine, Anna, from New Zealand was waiting for me, and it was SO good to get a small taste of home, chat to someone with background and to hear of her adventures in London. Then off to an amazing bar, Grand Union to meet some of her friends. Not only was the floral wallpaper and old paintings to my utter delight, but the company was amazing, and I left that place feeling so restored and my soul well fed. 

Saturday morning, I did something I have been wanting to do for so long. In Chatham, the next town over from Gillingham, there is an AMAZING charity that is based in a church called 'Caring Hands in the Community.' It was started 9 years ago, and set out to meet the needs of the Gillingham Homeless Community. It's such a huge problem over here and is truly heartbreaking. They provide food, tea, showers, addiction and counselling services and seek to speak the truth of Jesus into these peoples lives. It is INCREDIBLE. Myself and a few from the discipleship group volunteered at this amazing place for a day. My heart was so at home here, the people that came in, the normality of it all and just the complete and the heart behind the project was amazing. Practically meeting their needs in every way possible. Man, Jesus was so there. I still get so overwhelmed with the need in this place, walking past people shouting in the streets, seeing people walking down the street with a can of beer at 9am, chatting to people and hearing their stories and then seeing the number of people in need of help. But God is SO big and so good and there is nothing in me that doubts he can do amazing things, and transform this place. One person at a time. All I gotta do is have hope. 

7 days to go, before I head off to Europe to see the lovely Amie Sutherland. So excited. News to come.

I cannot wait for her to see the place I love. And then bring stories home to share with you all. 

Amazing.

long time no see.

I have been neglecting this blog slightly. Every time I attempt to write anything I get frustrated with trying to put words to things that seem impossible to describe, and then muddle through my vocabulary trying to find sentences to do justice to the people that I have met. And it all seems so irrelevant, because to be honest, things that are on my heart truly can't be described with just words. It has to be felt, walked, you have to be immersed in it, and breathe it in. And often, I even can't really figure it out myself.

Today I took myself for a walk down the high street of Gillingham. This town truly makes my heart sing with joy. And as I walked through the hoards of people, listened to two men playing the violin and guitar on the pavement, breathed in the cool air, I realized there is nowhere that I would have rather been in that moment. The stalls that overflow with cheap and tacky toys, the fresh baked buns and treats on the stalls, the odd reggae tent that sells Bob Marley inspired memorabilia and the mix of people and accents truly hit me as just right. And it made me think that I am possibly the most blessed person in the whole world. I am able to be here, doing what I love, being in the mix of Gillingham life and pretty much free to do anything, with no attachments and no ties. What a blessing. I am here for such a time as this. So I sauntered down the chewing gum filled pavements, with hope in my heart and a deep satisfaction and contentment with where I am and how I got here.

altars of thankfulness.

So, sometimes I think I just need to remind myself actually how good God has been to me.

There is such a temptation to lose perspective and become so bound by only what I can humanly do, without actually seeing the bigger picture of what God has already done and the promise of what he will do.
I am reminded of a sermon I once heard. Whenever Abraham moved anywhere, he built an altar and praised God for everything that he had done for him. Not only this but he revisited them, and remembered all the amazing things and how good God had been over his life.
I need to start, metaphorically, building altars of thankfulness and NEVER lose sight of what he's doing right now and praising him for how he brought me to this point in the first place.

God is, and will continue to be, so good to me.
I just need to keep remembering that so I don't lose sight of the big picture.
Altars of thankfulness will be appearing all over Gillingham.