the weekend.

It has been a week since moving in with Dave and Laurie, and 4 weeks since leaving New Zealand. Dave works in a young offenders prison as a warden and Laurie is an Occupational Therapist. Such a lovely couple. There have been mornings that a tap on the door is heard, and Laurie comes in wielding a cup of tea or a beautiful card is left outside my door for when I wake. So homely. Such a blessing to be living here.

On Saturday Laurie and I decided to go to Rochester. Twenty five minutes walk from Gillingham waits this little town. It is not only the hometown of Charles Dickins but possibly one of the cutest towns ever. Complete with it's very own castle and old cathedral. It is beautiful, cobbled streets lined with pubs and lovely old shops. On arrival into the town I literally stood in the middle of the street, closed my eyes and breathed in with great joy; so good for the soul. We mooched, had coffee, did a spot of Christmas shopping and gushed over beautiful craft shops. So nice and so normal. And then Santa ran past. And then another one. And another one. Then the largest dog I had ever seen, dressed in a santa costume. So surreal, this beautiful town, with crowds of running santas just shooting past. Definitely good for a giggle. Apparently, the Christmas fun run was on that day. Hilarious.
Then went to a youth event in Maidstone with two that I work with, Keion and Becca. We had an interesting train journey to Maidstone with a conductor that thought he was a comedian and proceeded to do a little show on the train as he was checking our tickets. So hilarious. However, although we had a map for when we arrived and had to make our way to an obscure church, not only did we not know where we were going, but we diverted from the map and had to find our way through the backstreets. Eventually when we found the event, the speaker had cancelled last minute. But of course it ended up being amazing anyway, and God was totally there. People were getting up and sharing what God had put on their heart. And no matter how much I felt the need to share, I just couldn't overcome the fear to do it. Next time. Thank goodness for grace that overcomes our human disappointments.
Sunday, church. For once I was early, such a rare occasion, and I met this interesting old man called Peter. He was telling me stories of when he went to Glastonbury, his life and how four weeks earlier he had been standing at the bus stop, seen the church and decided to come back the next week. It is so amazing how ready people are to share their lives with a stranger. As he left church he said he would look out for me next time, and a cup of tea after the service was in order. I love these intriguing meetings with people. Quality.

As amazing as this weekend has been, Today I am filled with an all around 'messy' and hideous feeling, accompanied by homesickness. You know when you feel you should be doing more than you are, that you can't quite seem to do everything you feel you should, that your faults and weaknesses just get in the way? Well, that feeling has been a large niggle in my mind. I guess this is a growing journey full of grace and mercy. God knows I'm human and I will mess up, freak out and not always be brave enough to step out and do or say what he wants me to in a situation. Thank God for grace. I would love to always  be able to be positive and KNOW truly that I am living the dream yet sometimes I get so frustrated and disheartened with myself. I guess I always knew this wouldn't be the easiest, and growing always is tough. You can't grow, step out, follow Jesus and move countries without there being a few moments where questions do arise and struggles happpen. I think it's just about in these moments knowing that Jesus love never fails, and his promises are so complete. And if all else fails, there is be grace.
OCEANS of it. 
It is definitely a work in progress and it is so overwhelming. But God works through anything and to be used is a privilege. Thank goodness. I am only over here through Gods grace.

I'm slowly building up my English slang vocabulary, as to try and integrate into the culture. I'm sure the kids get fed up with me standing there looking baffled after they have just spoken a sentence, and the only way this can be avoided is to nod and say 'mmm' as if I clearly understand. This only gets awkward when on the odd occasion I get caught out and have to admit that I had no idea from the beginning. I've censored the dictionary of words I have learnt in the last 4 weeks, which has left only a few I can share. oh those kids.
'Well' this word is put in front of ANY feeling 'That is well good'
'innit?' not really a question, more of an add-on at the end of a sentence. 'Isn't it?'
'Reem' good
'Fitten' used to describe a good looking person of the opposite sex
'Fam' an affectionate word for friend
'Gaffas' policeman
'Bruv' Used in the same way that 'bro' is used
Never a dull moment with those kids.
As much as I miss home, the thought of going back fills me with a sense of loss, as if I know that no matter what, Gillingham is where I need to be right now.
Bring on the next week.

here we go.

So this week has been filled with showing off my lack of football skills, drop ins, bible club, a visit to the most beautiful english village I have ever seen, an impromptu visit to Britians largest beer warehouse, a Mexican evening, babysitting, more drop ins, £3 lunches with some amazing ladies, grey weather, late night longboard adventures and moving out of one house and into another. 

Mexican night. Loads of flags decorating the drop in, a pinata, hot chilli's, moustaches and nachos. Although an argument between a few senoritas turned slightly heated and the pinata smacking stick threatened to be turned into a weapon, it was a good night. God keeps bringing new youth in off the street which is so good. All we have to do is be open, make them cups of tea and chat to them. Man, I truly love it. And we are getting to work with some truly amazing, but in need kids. Such a privilege. This is why I am here. 

It's been so surreal this week. Gillingham is such a small town, and generally once the kids live in Gillingham, they will stay here their whole lives. So many times I have been walking down the high street and bump into one of the youth I worked with when I was here last. Or be meeting one of them for lunch and they just bring a few others I haven't seen yet. It has been so good.

I seriously feel like, nothing I say, or no matter how many times I describe things, or gush over how amazing it is, or say how much I know that I am meant to be here, it just doesn't do it justice. I almost want to bring everyone here, to Gillingham, on a field trip and experience it firsthand. The streets, the atmosphere, the people, the high street, the churches, the accents.  I am very glad, yet so overwhelmed, that Jesus uses ordinary people to be trusted with work he wants to do. The youth teach me things everyday. Not only the definitions of rude words, or the interpretation of the weird english slang, but things about life. Truly amazing.

On the odd occasion our drop ins aren't open, we do detached youthwork. This generally involves some kind of football game in Gillingham park or the Skinner street football cage, a load of school kids and, for me it's usually an energetic form of public humiliation. I apologise every time I set foot on the field for the lack of skill, and for what sort of talent the kids are going to witness in the following hour and a half. This is then usually followed by one of the other guys trying to get the kids to believe that I play for the New Zealand national football team; a rumour which is dispelled the second I miss the ball, miss the goal or in the moment I end up on the ground. It is truly hilarious and I like to think this lack of skill makes me more approachable for the young people. Or even just a good laugh. Unsure though. Definitely crossing sports ministry off my life calling list. Although, I did get a goal today. yeah boy. I think half of Gillingham could have heard the celebration that followed. Incredible. 

On another note, I like to think that the love of football is what spurs the population of Gillinghams' love for tracksuits. Matching bottoms and sweatshirts, nike, adidas or puma with possibly even a matching cap. Now this would make sense, if they ran everywhere, or had just been to the gym, or even were getting ready for the lead up to the olympic games. But they're not. It's just the thing to do. And the sports shop here even has a bridal section, just incase you want to wear a white tracksuit on your wedding day. Perfect. Obviously I have put an order in for the future. mm yes.

Downham Market pretty much sounds as quaint as it is. Cobbled streets with houses lining each side and fairy lights strung between them, beautiful english accents and brilliant countryside. Seriously straight out of some sort of calendar. A visit there to see some friends was just the perfect outing for a crisp Sunday. 

As much as I do love this place. and the kids. And can't believe that I can legitimately take youth out for lunch and chats and class it as work. However, I have to admit the weather is rubbish. Just so dreary and grey. Second winter is truly getting me down.

I am craving summer so bad. I need a tan and a swim in the ocean. 

Enjoy it for me.

intriguing people.

I met this man called John. He was just sat in the high street, a can of beer in his hand and as I smiled at him and asked him how he was going, a flicker of something crossed his eyes and the reply was 'life's pretty rough at the moment.' I sat crouched down beside him and heard his story of how he became an alcoholic, his mum passing away and how his family was dealing with it. And in that moment a huge feeling of humility, reality and overwhelming need sunk into me. This man was allowing me to hear the pains of his heart and his struggles, to hear his story. So humbling and such a privilege. I sat with him, assured him I would pray and as he asked what brought me to Gillingham and about why I love Jesus, I was filled with a sense of the hugeness, yet simplicity of this situation. Jesus works through anything.
The other morning I sat with two girls at the back of a greasy spoon cafe in the centre of Gillingham and, over their plates of bacon, beans and eggs, listened to them tell me what's been going on with them over the last two years, their matter of fact accounts of their run-ins with the police and being kicked out of college. So much need. And so much opportunity to provide practically for them and  show the reality of Jesus just by being there. So overwhelming.
There was this lady that I got to know while I was here last. She wears a head scarf and stands outside a bakery selling a 'big issue' magazine for £2 to make a small living and provide for her 5 children. There would be some days that I would walk past and just smile, some I would buy her lunch and on some not so great days I would ashamedly just walk past and look the other direction. Yesterday I walked past that same bakery, 2 years later and saw her. She looked at me and a flicker of recognition crossed her face. I said hi and then she held out her arms for a hug. This was the highlight of my day and such a hope that small things do count. I'm going to keep smiling and chatting to her. God is so good.
I realised that this is why I'm here to learn from people, to walk with people, share in their lives with them, love them and hopefully show them a little of who Jesus is to me.

In the drop in centres, we have been having so many new kids in, who would have been just hanging out on the streets and it is so exciting. So much opportunity. People have been being brought to Gillingham from all parts with the same heart, community focus and passion for their lives to amount for something in the kingdom scheme of things. There is a family from my church, who have moved to Gillingham with their two little girls, with the heart and intention of living missionally. They have bought a house with more rooms than they need, with the intention of housing like-minded people. They have offered to have me there in January for the rest of my stay in Gillingham. SO GOOD. A passion has been put in them for this town. Something truly exciting is happening in Gillingham.
And I'm excited to be a teeny part of it.

The week that has been.

So I have been in Gillingham nearly three weeks. 18 days. Already so many exciting things, so many thoughts, so much learning, so many adventures. It's been a mix of London, drop in centres, church, guy fawkes night, and hanging out with some amazing young people. And this is only a teeny fraction of the two years that I am going to be here. I can't even imagine what the two years will hold. Here's hoping it's flippin' mindblowing.

There are a few things I have come to expect since being here. Bad coffee. There is nowhere in Gillingham that I have been able to find a decent coffee. I have searched high and low, tested various beverages and have resigned to the fact that my love for a decent flat white will not be satisfied whilst being here. I even travelled to the next town to try my luck, only to sip on a burnt cup. Delicious. Also, in every conversation I have come to expect either a total miscommunication due to my accent. This has led to much confusion over introductions, as alot of people think I am telling them my name is 'Jiss.' It is such quality watching the confusion on their face as they comprehend why anyone would ever call their child that, then realise that I am foreign. Then there's the situation where the other person will imitate what I have just said, in their own version of my accent. Usually it is so bad that I find myself evaluating the way I say everything and hoping I don't sound anything like their impersonation. Anyway, on with the update.

Wednesday was a trip to London. This place is always so good for my soul.  Not only is it a people watchers dream, it's always just so intriguing, refreshing and puts things in perspective, feeling so small amongst the hustle and bustle of everything else going on around. Although I would later find out in the day that I could have just gone into the local bank branch in Gillingham to open an account, I secretly loved the excuse to head to the big city.
Firstly, the train journey was a beaut. There's always something so exciting, the prospect of an adventure as you step onto the platform and wait. I love it. The scenery is so nice, so refreshing. Castles and fields just rolling past the window and people of all descriptions to observe and ponder where they are going.
First stop, Victoria Station. I love it..So many people going so many different places and then there was me. I am most definitely that annoying girl that even though everyone around me is rushing to catch their next train, I just dawdle down the passageway to catch the tube.
The tube is the most unusual social habit ever. There are so many people in one place in such close proximity, but there is this unspoken rule that no one dares to speak with each, let alone make eye contact of any form. So unusual. It's almost as if people take great interest in anything they can whilst on the tube, staring at a poster on the tube wall, fiddling with their phones, reading the paper, just so they don't have to actually interact with anyone. So I just make eye contact and smile. So good. So obviously foreign.
London Bridge tube station, I just hopped off and wandered, had coffee, asked directions about a million times, walked over the most beautiful bridge with red buses going past every few minutes and breathed in the city air...it was truly glorious. London is so full of intriguing people, walking about as if they are on a mission and I am always drawn to observing them, imagining where they are going, what they do, what their lives are like, and the thought that just a simple 'hello' could start your two worlds merging. London is perfect for it. Truly. And such a treat.
The bank meeting went off without a hitch and I am slowly being integrated into normal English society, with my very own bank account. perfect

Guy Fawkes evening was on Saturday. Gillingham is quite well known, not only for it's football hooligans and trouble, but also for their epic fireworks display, complete with a smiley face firework to finish. My homegroup (yes I have also been integrated into a homegroup) decided that it would be a huge opportunity to serve the community before the display, and I just hopped on the band wagon. So we served hot dogs, hot chocolates and soup to the community before everyone headed off. So good.

The last few weeks I have been easing myself back into work with Gillingham Youth For Christ. Basically the aim of GYFC is to love and accept the kids as Jesus would and seek to practically meet their needs. I've been helping out at the drop in centres, and it has been SO AMAZING just to get back to the basics, meeting the kids, provide a place for them to hangout and seeking opportunities to just love them, accept them and share the hope of Jesus with them. Man, it's so real, and there have been so many times this week that, when I have been doubting, Jesus  has really hit home that this is where I am meant to be, and this is the work he has put on my heart. So good.

I've also been really challenged about being really open to meeting people down the high street and looking for opportunities to just love people. I am already learning so much.
And in everything God is so faithful. When I arrived, I had hardly any money, nowhere to stay and no plans, apart from volunteering with GYFC for the next 2 years. I have been staying with a friend, who is also a youthworker at YFC but they cant have me longterm due to their rent agreement so I've been looking for somewhere to stay. A couple from my church have offered for me to board with them for a pittance until January. So blessed. It's amazing to know that no matter what, God will continue to be faithful, put passions in my heart and do amazing things in Gillingham.
It's so good to know that.