the weekend.

It has been a week since moving in with Dave and Laurie, and 4 weeks since leaving New Zealand. Dave works in a young offenders prison as a warden and Laurie is an Occupational Therapist. Such a lovely couple. There have been mornings that a tap on the door is heard, and Laurie comes in wielding a cup of tea or a beautiful card is left outside my door for when I wake. So homely. Such a blessing to be living here.

On Saturday Laurie and I decided to go to Rochester. Twenty five minutes walk from Gillingham waits this little town. It is not only the hometown of Charles Dickins but possibly one of the cutest towns ever. Complete with it's very own castle and old cathedral. It is beautiful, cobbled streets lined with pubs and lovely old shops. On arrival into the town I literally stood in the middle of the street, closed my eyes and breathed in with great joy; so good for the soul. We mooched, had coffee, did a spot of Christmas shopping and gushed over beautiful craft shops. So nice and so normal. And then Santa ran past. And then another one. And another one. Then the largest dog I had ever seen, dressed in a santa costume. So surreal, this beautiful town, with crowds of running santas just shooting past. Definitely good for a giggle. Apparently, the Christmas fun run was on that day. Hilarious.
Then went to a youth event in Maidstone with two that I work with, Keion and Becca. We had an interesting train journey to Maidstone with a conductor that thought he was a comedian and proceeded to do a little show on the train as he was checking our tickets. So hilarious. However, although we had a map for when we arrived and had to make our way to an obscure church, not only did we not know where we were going, but we diverted from the map and had to find our way through the backstreets. Eventually when we found the event, the speaker had cancelled last minute. But of course it ended up being amazing anyway, and God was totally there. People were getting up and sharing what God had put on their heart. And no matter how much I felt the need to share, I just couldn't overcome the fear to do it. Next time. Thank goodness for grace that overcomes our human disappointments.
Sunday, church. For once I was early, such a rare occasion, and I met this interesting old man called Peter. He was telling me stories of when he went to Glastonbury, his life and how four weeks earlier he had been standing at the bus stop, seen the church and decided to come back the next week. It is so amazing how ready people are to share their lives with a stranger. As he left church he said he would look out for me next time, and a cup of tea after the service was in order. I love these intriguing meetings with people. Quality.

As amazing as this weekend has been, Today I am filled with an all around 'messy' and hideous feeling, accompanied by homesickness. You know when you feel you should be doing more than you are, that you can't quite seem to do everything you feel you should, that your faults and weaknesses just get in the way? Well, that feeling has been a large niggle in my mind. I guess this is a growing journey full of grace and mercy. God knows I'm human and I will mess up, freak out and not always be brave enough to step out and do or say what he wants me to in a situation. Thank God for grace. I would love to always  be able to be positive and KNOW truly that I am living the dream yet sometimes I get so frustrated and disheartened with myself. I guess I always knew this wouldn't be the easiest, and growing always is tough. You can't grow, step out, follow Jesus and move countries without there being a few moments where questions do arise and struggles happpen. I think it's just about in these moments knowing that Jesus love never fails, and his promises are so complete. And if all else fails, there is be grace.
OCEANS of it. 
It is definitely a work in progress and it is so overwhelming. But God works through anything and to be used is a privilege. Thank goodness. I am only over here through Gods grace.

I'm slowly building up my English slang vocabulary, as to try and integrate into the culture. I'm sure the kids get fed up with me standing there looking baffled after they have just spoken a sentence, and the only way this can be avoided is to nod and say 'mmm' as if I clearly understand. This only gets awkward when on the odd occasion I get caught out and have to admit that I had no idea from the beginning. I've censored the dictionary of words I have learnt in the last 4 weeks, which has left only a few I can share. oh those kids.
'Well' this word is put in front of ANY feeling 'That is well good'
'innit?' not really a question, more of an add-on at the end of a sentence. 'Isn't it?'
'Reem' good
'Fitten' used to describe a good looking person of the opposite sex
'Fam' an affectionate word for friend
'Gaffas' policeman
'Bruv' Used in the same way that 'bro' is used
Never a dull moment with those kids.
As much as I miss home, the thought of going back fills me with a sense of loss, as if I know that no matter what, Gillingham is where I need to be right now.
Bring on the next week.